The Last One

I had been through a lot.
I had learned a lot.
I had grown a lot.

I was looking, not really engaging.
Not really expecting.

And then there he was.

Honest.
Conversational.
Well kept.
Stylish.
Quirky.
Great chat.
Consistent.
Open.

A coffee date.
This is pleasant.

Another date.
This is great.

Measured.
Easy.
Humour.
Depth.

Such potential.
Ah, I thought.
This is not my usual.
But I have grown.
I recognise a quality man now.

We dated.
We enjoyed.
We laughed.
We shared the same pleasures.
We accepted differences.

I imagined life with him.

But.

It could not be sustained.
Two different nervous systems fighting to be heard.

It is not his fault.
It is not my fault.

I need to feel held.
He needs to feel contained.

So close.
And yet so far.

I will rest now.
My heart has been to war over and over.
It deserves to be held by its owner.

Treasured.